Hermitical

I am realizing something about myself; I really do like being alone. I enjoy people when I'm with them, but after a few days of socializing, I am so happy to spend a night like tonight--I did a little grocery shopping, got a movie, and came home to make a good dinner & lie in bed watching the movie. I think there is good to this, and some not-so-good. The nsg is I can envision myself turning into an inflexible, somewhat compulsive old spinster, who has her little "routines" that human contact would upset. Scary vision. But the good is, this program I am in demands lots of time to process all the emotional data, and I am taking that time. I was talking with a friend today, and she mentioned how she often feels like just going home and thinking about her problems, instead of really caring about other people's. She's in the program as well, and I said I think we have to take this time to focus on ourselves, or we will do more damage than good when we start trying to actually help people. Also, I guess I am an introvert--the definition of introvert is something like, "you are energized by being alone--being with people can drain you". All my life, that has seemed like a bad thing, that I should want to be with people a lot more. It sounds selfish to enjoy my own company--but why, if that's what it takes for me to be able to then enjoy the company of others? I know from experience, if I try to go too many days with lots of people activity and no alone time, I get tense & irritable. A friend from my home city is coming to visit this summer, and she is going to be staying with me. I sent her an email saying 5 days sounded like a good amount of time for her visit--in the past, i would not have taken care of myself by saying that, and I would have been ready for a vacation by the time she left! 5 days still may be a stretch in my small apartment--but at least I've put on the table the fact that I need alone time. So--selfish, or who I am and that's okay? I am trying to say, "that's me".