read it, people.

I just finished reading such a good book--Night of the Radishes, referring toa festivalin Oaxaca, Mexico. It made me want to go there; I've only been just over the border to Mexico (from Arizona), never actually been anywhere there.
The story was of a woman who has suffered lots of grief with her family of origin, and locked it all inside. She has tried to be the perfect daughter, sister, wife, and mother, and doesn't realize how angry she is at her family members for all leaving her in various ways to carry the load alone. She goes to Mexico to try and find her long-lost brother, and undergoes a transformation.
As the review on the back cover asks, "If you were to let the accumulated grief and guilt of a lifetime slip gently away, who might you be?" What a great question--I would like to find out.

Hermitical

I am realizing something about myself; I really do like being alone. I enjoy people when I'm with them, but after a few days of socializing, I am so happy to spend a night like tonight--I did a little grocery shopping, got a movie, and came home to make a good dinner & lie in bed watching the movie. I think there is good to this, and some not-so-good. The nsg is I can envision myself turning into an inflexible, somewhat compulsive old spinster, who has her little "routines" that human contact would upset. Scary vision. But the good is, this program I am in demands lots of time to process all the emotional data, and I am taking that time. I was talking with a friend today, and she mentioned how she often feels like just going home and thinking about her problems, instead of really caring about other people's. She's in the program as well, and I said I think we have to take this time to focus on ourselves, or we will do more damage than good when we start trying to actually help people. Also, I guess I am an introvert--the definition of introvert is something like, "you are energized by being alone--being with people can drain you". All my life, that has seemed like a bad thing, that I should want to be with people a lot more. It sounds selfish to enjoy my own company--but why, if that's what it takes for me to be able to then enjoy the company of others? I know from experience, if I try to go too many days with lots of people activity and no alone time, I get tense & irritable. A friend from my home city is coming to visit this summer, and she is going to be staying with me. I sent her an email saying 5 days sounded like a good amount of time for her visit--in the past, i would not have taken care of myself by saying that, and I would have been ready for a vacation by the time she left! 5 days still may be a stretch in my small apartment--but at least I've put on the table the fact that I need alone time. So--selfish, or who I am and that's okay? I am trying to say, "that's me".

for people who don't know what they are

http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html

I am woman...

I am rereading my classnotes for the Marriage & Family final tomorrow, and something stuck out that didn't the first time I heard it. Dan is talking about the gender differences, and how men are more black & white, "this is right, this is wrong". He also talked about how the teaching of the church has been male-oriented; I realized I have been taught that "right and wrong" thinking my entire Christian life. The thing is, I could always see both sides of an issue or a person's story--I just figured I had weak character, that I was rationalizing ("telling rational lies"). Dan says women are much more inclusive in their thinking, tend toward mystery instead of definitive truth--all along, my "problem" has been I am a woman! (sorry about the changing tenses here--maybe that fits in somehow to my womanliness).

I need my recommended daily allowance...

http://www.cuddleparty.com/